It is the eternal conflict between man and woman. A man (your man) tells you what to do and you are astonished. With your eyebrows somewhere on the top of your head you ask: Why on earth should I do what you say? Just give me one valid reason. He has no reason except being man. Nature made the world like that. So you keep the peace intact and do what he wants. You show a geisha-smile and inside you are mad.. I asked the Yi for his opinion. He said: hexagram 44, lines 3, 5 and 6 moving. It is the hexagram about coupling, from sex to any other creative cooperation. It sure matched the question...
9 at 3: 'The buttocks without skin. Might be the journey had an inferior
start. Danger. Without great fault.'
For making a heir one has to take off all make-believe and stand naked. If you really want to accomplish something together, then both will have to show themselves with all their good and bad assets. That way your start will lack decorum, but it will be healthy. Contact with the 'opposite' one is always difficult. Your heart will time and again get hurt or feel at a loss. Realize that creativity has nothing to do with human forms like romance, emancipation, standing or appearance.
(Changes to hex.6.3) 'To feed on ancient virtue. Determination: danger. In the end: auspicious. If following kings affairs: without accomplishment.'
Having earned one's merit is great, but don't make a habit of relying on it. It may help you get an official job, but not achievement. For achieving one has to renew and prove one's value day after day. To me this was clear.
9 at 5: 'Use osier enwrapping a melon. It contains a
creation. It falls from heaven.'
Carry and treat the future heir with respect - Heaven made it. Every creative action or thought should be handled this way. They may look easy but creativity grows only when everything is right: the seed, the soil, the season. It needs the completeness of nature. It can not be summoned when it is absent.
(Changes to hex.50.5) 'The vessel has yellow ears, metal rings. Harvest: determination.'
When all the circumstances and conditions - the womb - are perfect, then and there a strong new life can grow. Revere it, hold it sacred. I am not pregnant or hoping to be, but I get the meaning. There is something between him and me which is more important than my feelings.
Above 9: 'Begetting an heir with one's horn. Distress. Without fault.'
Running after your urges is not the wisest thing to do. Being critical about those you want to cooperate with, and also about your own intentions, might save you a lot of trouble. But sometimes a venture needs an impulsive start. The spirit knows no 'that', only 'this'. That is why the spirit can go beyond borders and reach the unthinkable. In the spirit the highest creation is possible, but because he knows no softness, he can hurt without any intention to hurt. If this happens to you, then don't take it to heart - it is jungle law.
(Changes to hex.28) 'Crossing at the wading place and drowning. Pitfall. Without fault.'
When undertaking great things it is impossible to avoid every risk. But do investigate, inquire, evaluate as much as possible. The Yi understands that I feel hurt. And he explains why nature made things this way, like a nice and wise grandfather: if this man was able to spare my feelings at this moment, he would be a nice man but not an artist. So if you want to be with this artist, then accept him as he is.
Continue to second hexagram