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Hexagram 31: Influence (Wooing)

Question I asked the I Ching:
"What is causing my restlessness. What is at the root of my impatience and restlessness?"

Approximately 1 year ago I ended a romantic fling with a man. I wanted more of a commitment from him, but he was not interested in pursuing things beyond casual fun. Not only was this a huge blow to my ego, but it also caused a deep wound in my soul. I felt a connection to this person and to not have my feelings reciprocated was very difficult for me to handle.

In the past year I have undergone a huge transformation because of this. I am not the same person I used to be - I am so much better. I feel more alive and hopeful for the future. I have not dated anyone since him because I haven't felt ready to move on. Lately I've been feeling a nagging sensation inside of me...a feeling that I want something or that something is missing, but I don't know what it is yet.

I asked the I Ching "What is causing my restlessness. What is at the root of my impatience and restlessness?" I received hexagram 31 (unchanging). It's so clear that I'm looking for a romantic connection and intimacy (not just on the physical level.) What's more interesting, the next day I came across the following in a book I was reading: "Human beings yearn above all else for intimacy...Until we experience intimacy, our hearts remain restless, irritable, and disconnected." It's all crystal clear to me now.


No specific question, I just opened the Yijing to a random page to get a hexagram.

I got the hexagram 31 after having gotten a call from a friend earlier in the day. I hadn't spoken to this friend in probably four or five years. I'm a very solitary person so this call was unexpected and hence unnerving.

The part of the hexagram that really spoke to me was The Image. The second half of The Image said "Thus the superior man encourages people to approach him by his readiness to receive them."

When the friend had called earlier I hadn't wanted to take the call but felt ambushed so I did. I talked to him jovially and he said he was coming up to my state again to visit his parents and wanted to stop by. I agreed but later on, after the phone call was over was regretting it and dreading it.

Then I opened the Yijing randomly to a page to get a hexagram and got 31. Influence (Wooing). It really applied exactly to what had happened. I hadn't had to say yes to him coming by. If I had been less jovial in the phone call he might not have wanted to ask about coming by to visit.

Either way, I felt like it was definitely uncanny how the Yijing opened to a hexagram that directly applied to the unusual and rare occurrence that had happened earlier that day. It definitely gave me a lot more trust in the Yijing. Trust which has proven to be well placed since I've been doing the Yijing every day lately with pretty good results.